:). Divorce, in itself, is a pretty painful experience, you are, in a way, rearranging your life. I begged her to stay and to come to couples counselling which she refused, telling me to go to counsell on my own I went to the closet to get my stuff and she had already thrown all my clothes in a pile by the closet door, when she folded and placed his stuff in my drawers and closet. I have been married just for 8 months and my husband has abandoned the house. var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Schedule a daily Stress-reducing conversation. This always seems like something that can be worked on or fixed, but when two people live separate lives, they can eventually grow too far apart. You could emagine how I felt like someone ripped my heart out.I started telling him how can you go back after every thing that I have been nothing but loyal to him. I cannot tell you how many exs I have that say they never believed I would ever leave. Narcissist I felt like a criminal. It sounds like the only way this will work is if you tell her what you want and deserve and if she cannot do that then get busy. He insisted he had never acted on it, but that it turned him on. He feels interrogated and wishes he could defend himself (and knows he can't). Wow that sounds horrible, cant believe after all those years its almost like they could erase everything you thought they were fighting for for nothing. Think about the parts of Jon that could not be true to Jon because of her. We have two girls 5 and 8. She nonchalantly says I am going to stay with my step Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. I hurt my back at work and was off then went back she just finished college at this point, she got a job and then I found out I had a prostate problem, so I had a cathador in for a while and again was off work, at this point we were still getting things caught up. Just sad. He sure didnt think that when we got married now did he. Something that was completely against my morals as human being. Do Saturday comes and she calls me. Inner wisdom can move you forward. Do you really want to be married to a women thats flashing her goods to the world wide web???? I was upset and he kept making fun of me and saying that he just follows the kids and that he is not waiting until the princess is happy. Just be prepared if you do this, you may see certain things that can really hurt you. He won't give explanation. god help me to get through this. We separated, married other people, which we both confessed to each were the wrong people. Believe, shell want you back. If you loved me he wouldnt of left me. She had agreed that I could have the kids both Friday and Saturday night and bring them back in Sunday as Im sure it suited her quite well and by now I am desperate to see my kids. So it is tough to swallow. I know it may seem a bit weird but I stumbled upon this site just the same way. I always try to communicate with her pushing to know whats going on but she will pick offence and let in argument. It sounds like she just couldnt take the build up emotionally anymore, but that can be fixable. And got into dark goth vampire stuff.she told me it was all just a joke. Wonderful husband. I am still learning the scope of the damage that was done to me. Unbelievable. If he responds, tell him you drove by the place you had your first date, or another place that reminds you of him. Im 59 shes 49. We have always gotten along great,In every way,always had fun together.The good times outnumber the bad. I was in the same situation. He apologized but, i know that he meant it. Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. Youre an excellent father and she should be happy to have you. I have been madly in love with this woman for the 12 years weve known each other, and of course I was devastated. I have the greatest respect for those who endure the bad times and work to resolve and remedy their challenges. Im no angel to live with but I always saw us together until the end. We did relate and I changed as much as I could to make it work I thought she had too. I swear up and down that I wont go back with her but I know that her not taking her meds had a lot to do with us separating. Peace of mind is what I want. Then what, it is just so sad. Scripture adds. I asked if there was someone else she said of course but right now I dont know what to believe please help thanks Derek, My situation isnt all that different man. Two years ago my hubby had an affair we separated and he blocked me on fbk. Please u did not say anything concerning my case, am in Cameroon, and we have less of such facilities like therapist on psychological or marital issues. 7. She says she is doing this for our marriage. Plus I have all these young children to look after :( my heart breaks. $('.submenu2').show(); it will come . }); I am sorry I implied anything else regarding that. But they are forced to be with her every other weekend. We are now separated again but he is now living with another woman, same woman he dated for 4 months during our last seperstion. He says he loves me very much but is not in love with me I am devastated feel like Im dying inside. Read some of what I wrote I was married for 21 YEARS and mine did the same thing. s Married, You Mean Nothing (And My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of my child seems to have just done the very same thing to me. Years. Know your rights when it comes to living with roommates, and avoid problems by carefully writing out a detailed roommate agreement. When she declared she was leaving to focus on her own happiness I was both frightened and relieved. Hello! I cant believe the hell youre going through. !.Good By.I am trying to be happy but its not working.I dont know how a person could ever feel more lonely and empty and unhappy.Im trying.. Keeping their distance is how to know if a narcissist is finished with you. My wife and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5. Joking Finding that on Facebook is a huge red flag. Above all. We had 2 amazing little girls but right after the second one her first Xmas, 10 days before my wife says shes going to get Advil and doesnt come home. But its almost sociopathic, I think, to be so accommodating to the same person that you were in a self- described toxic relationship with and a partner that you couldnt ever communicate with and now be completely calm and methodical with. I used to make more money than him and since I got laid off he changed towards me. Being a husband and a dad every day. I have paid for the clothes on his back to the cigs in his mouth since day 1. jQuery('.therapist-slider').fadeIn("slow") She doesnt cook (not in 20 years I have known her, not a joke either), does not clean (although has started making some effort in this area) but is simply heartless to them. I dnt no wat to do. Weve never lost our affection and it seems to me that Im the one who is expected to do all the changing. Can you imagine getting kicked out of your home and your husband moves someone else in and they go through your things, even my Breast Cancer medical records trying to say I could work because I survived, Im 60 and have worked since 1969!! I am in shock. to Make a Narcissist Miserable They all go to the same school and population is 800 so no escape. Its like he wants to keep me down. I know you already got involved with child protect services but wonder if maybe if it comes from a teacher or the school system that might help you shine a light on whats going on in their house.I know its heartbreaking to think that your kids are exposed to such horrible parenting. }); with my kids asking the same question and my narcissistic ex looks like a victim of a situation that just didnt work out as we grew apart as he puts it. Its just unreal. Sometimes people tell me that they have no idea why their ex blocked them. I am on the fence with how I feel and how much more I want to put up with. Then quite quickly our arguments started becoming more fatal & terminal. She moved out fast and said I needed time to work on myself as well. Opinion Columnist. My children were now being brainwashed into believing I left then for this new woman as well as a few of her not so close friends. I guess I still love her as pathetic as that sounds. 1. Our two oldest sons, fifteen and nineteen are going to live with him. Followed by admitting adultery in a surprising amount of detail (think she was proud). I cant cope with the pain of my break up. Didnt know our kids friends girlfriends or boyfriends. I wish I could meet one of these women in here going through all this pain and sweep them off their feet. $('.headMenuLinksMob').hide(); I thought maybe he has deleted his instagram account (despite the fact that he uses it alot) so I searched for him and it came up that the account is private and I need to request to follow. But really, act like your all shocked and surprised? And just this week has gone away with just him on a business trip over seas. Keep my job but end up with neither my children or my love or move else where I can at least survive and see my kids seldomly and be with the person who makes me happy. I have remained respectful and kind throughout while going in the car to have my meltdowns. I was there for him when he was at his lowest point. He wants to separate all our assets already and wants all the momentos in our house. If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. Just because she knew need her health insurance doesnt mean she entitled your settlement. Husband Has A Female Coworker Friend I split with my ex on Christmas. From this list you can click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. I moved away from my hometown with my son Met the man Im with now and my 7 year old loves him His real daddy recently passed away and so me and my fiance wanted a baby sister for us and him meanwhile he has 4 other kids that he told me the kids couldnt keep him at there house. I have to buy my own insurance because Im losing mine on December 9. The same applies to young men who can be fooled by a charming female sociopath/narcissist. jQuery(document).ready(function() { She txts him daily and it dosent bother her that Im right there. Take your feelings and write them on little pieces of paper. Living is not living unless you are truly living, being respected and happy. After all Ive been through I have not given up and please do not either. His health issues are not serious. They sent phony legal documents to my mom, son and even my lawyer?? 1) Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn if you want another chance. Fight for yourself, believe in yourself and never ever blame yourself for the ignorance of others. my wife is never contented with the marriage and she keeps packing even with no good reason leaving the kids behind.the other day i had visited her she told me that i shld train to stay without her because she can leave me and get married 2 another man.i have really sacrificed 4 the good survival of this marriage bt i just feel that the push has come 2 shove and its the high time i let it go 4 the sake of my life ,assist please, Thank you for your comment, Paul. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. Please pray for me. Im having a hard time knowing how to move on! Distance doesnt only mean physical space. He said he has a girlfriend Sooooo, put on your big boy pants and move the hell on. A year ago we reconciled and became pregnant. Well one thing youve not mentioned is being with an alcoholic. He said he left because of lack of communication and the fact that I wasnt listening to him about his health. This isnt him. Leave them alone. When we met it was love from the off. If they still dont respond, you can try again in a year or so. Relationships with narcissists have a cycle to them that plays out again and again. Megan. But most of the time do not want to come home. I got his phone and looked for her name. And now she wants to leave. That we argue all the time and that things werent gona change. I so want to move on but feel abandoned and unloveable. For him to leave like that in the middle of the night tells me that he is very immature! if ($(".submenu4").is(":hidden")) { 1. Whatever is causing them to leave or you to leave, they dont care if we have closure or not. Theres a reason to leave someone. My fianc and I live far away from each other and maybe see each other every other weekend. But, when we moved we had to give away everything we owned or sell what we could. I asked him to move out before we settle divorce as I want to respect myself not wanting to wait till august to see if there are really both in live. Shes married with two children as well, and was in a comfortable marriage. '&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src= I cannot deal with that that pain is too big and I am too alone. I feel broken, rejected, and unloved. You deserve better and just live better than he does. I dont even know where to start now. I know how you feel Matt, im so sorry for you. I kept his dirty secrets like they were my fault , like the time he came home 2 weeks before our baby was due when I felt like a beached whale and told me he was in love with girl in the office 12 years my jnr. This all may be true, but once the life goes out of the partnership, it takes a lot of work to cultivate it back to where it needs to be. Im sure you guys had a blast but it took you 2 weeks to completely erase and destroy the beautiful thing we had. Any advice? I dont owe you anything. She asked me to move out by text saying she wanted bigger and better. 9. Holy cow. I just wish I could hit fast forward. I came home from work and he was downstairs crying and moaning. He did not handle all of it well and went behind my back and hired an attorney, took a large amount of money out of our savings and then a couple months later filed for divorce, all while living with me and our family, going to counseling and being intimate with me. Im in so much pain physically. And it definitely should not be limited to the 5 mentioned here. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. Ive been taking care of household/ kids/ working part time and hes never even picked up kids once after school even if I was sick! I could not allow a man to make me feel less another second! I dont want him to go. Brad dated Kelsey (24) for 10 years. Your husbands relationship with a female coworker starts including more and more texting and calling, and eventually they find ways to spend more and more in-person time together, too. I feel like having the high moral ground vindicates me but the article recommends not using it. It kinda helps. img.emoji { She isnt in love with me anymore. Have evidence that he was cheating on me with my business partner /emotional affair? During the row he started screaming and shouting at me so i told him to go and he never came back and is saying i dumped him for no reason! My son also gets a survivor benefit which I sparingly use but He mooches food my family you name it. Straamy2 where are you from? husband blocked me from leaving My husband of 5 years told me he no longer loves me about 4 months ago. She will never understand just how much hurt she had made so many people feel so she could be selfish and live like a teenager ignoring the fact she has kids watching. The unfortunate truth is unless two people are willing to work on a marriage it will never work. My wife and I have a 2 year old son. Reasons Why My Ex Blocked Me - Will They Come I was in shock for months. You still have a chance to fix this. The gym for me kept me from drinking. I am in counseling 1x a week and just started a low dose of a antidepressant pill. He seems to be always angry at somebody or some thing. The hits keep coming. Im shutting down. Ive been there and now Im free from his affairs. I told her no more. Im not sure whats worse having your spouse off the deep end and watching them demonstrate it, or having someone appear completely intact going through life whilst I am going WTF I have been on his plan for 21 years. A very common communication snafu happens when one member of a couple shuts down emotionally during an argument and stops talking.
